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JUGGERNAUT

FADE IN

INT. THE IMAGINATION- THE PROMENADE DECK-
EARLY MORNING

LEGEND READS
1:00 A.M.

CLOSE ON

With vulpine deliberation and stealth,
Krycek contemplates the peaceful faces
of the couple asleep on the padded
seating which runs the complete length
of the deck.  He pays special attention
to the woman's bronze, cherubic face.

A frisson of arousal courses through him
beneath the salmony sun dress he's
wearing, as another disguise.  The blond
looks genuinely presentable for a change
as he's dressed in a charcoal pin-striped
suit.  Krycek tries to remember what his
name is.  Just as it's on the tip of his
brain, the beautiful woman stirs, and
Krycek smiles darkly.

She is dressed to the nine's, looking as
though she was poured into the glittery
lame dress she wore during her act at one
of theshipboard lounges.  His eyes dance
with a predatory gleam.

He draws nearer still, unconcerned if
they awaken.  He makes a very convincing
woman.  He envies her the crystalline-
gold spun filigree necklace strung about
her neck.  His fingers gently finger the
fine jewelry, and then trace lower
wantonly, hovering before the rise and
fall of her partially-exposed cleavage.

Gradually, Krycek leaves off, licks his
glossy ruby red lips a final time, and
then sashays away to resume his stroll of
reconnaissance.

INT. THE IMAGINATION-PROMENADE DECK-LATER
THAT MORNING

Langly awakes with a stir, and several
wide, face-stretching yawns which rouse
him enough to make him wonder exactly
what time it is.

He moves, what he thinks is slightly,
to see what his watch says, but it's
enough to wake Lislita who's been
sleeping supine, on top of him.

    LANGLY
(softly into her head)
Hey, sorry.  Didn't mean to wake ya.

    LISLITA
(starts yawning, but covers it with her
hand)
You didn't.  What time is it anyway?

Noting how dark it still is, he checks
that out.

    LANGLY
Uh, nearly five A.M.  Can you believe
it?  We crashed right here.  Now how
much does that say for my 'boredomability'
factor?

    LISLITA
(chuckles)
You're *not* boring, it's just that we
had lots to talk about and ran out of
steam.  I apologize for not being able
to spend as much time with you as you'd
like, and me too. . .

    LANGLY
I really liked you in your shows.  You
send me.

    LISLITA
Thank you.

    LANGLY
(wistfully)
Gee, I wish you didn't have to work so
much so we can be together more. . .  It
sucks we'll never be able to have dinner
together because you gotta do your thing
showtimewise at dinnertime.

    LISLITA
I know.

    LANGLY
I want you for my dinner companion.  Not
the F.B.I.

FLASHBACK - THE PREVIOUS NIGHT

FADE IN

INT. - THE GALAXY DINING ROOM

LEGEND READS
8:30 P.M.

PULL IN

We see Langly atypically suitably
attired in a dark single-breasted
jacket and pants, seated at the dinner
table with the Agents, looking touchy;
primed for complaining.  In the
background we hear the buzz of Scully
speaking, and Langly's look goes glumer
still.

VOICE OVER

    SCULLY
(high-spiritedly)
You've never seen so much food in your
life.  They pull out all the culinary
stops for the Midnight Buffets.

ON SCREEN

I gained fifteen pounds alone, my last
cruise, from all the midnight snacking
I did.

CUT TO

    MULDER
Those pounds went to all the right places,
though.

Scully rolls her eyes at him, and he
pretends he doesn't see.

Langly brightens then when a thought
strikes him.

    LANGLY
Hey, maybe Lis and me can squeak those
big-time midnight snack-fests into her
busy schedule.  She said she knocks off
around eleven-thirty.  I mean, with her
being one of the aerobics instructors,
and then all the singin' she does in the
Dynasty Lounge and then after that the
Seafarer Disco, it doesn't leave much
time for. . .uh, uh. . .

    SCULLY
(a hint of irritation)
For what, Langly?

    LANGLY
(visibly squirms as his face reddens)
For uh, checkin' out the shipboard
stuff ta do.  You know. . .
(pulls at the new tie Byers helped him
pick out)
Together.

    SCULLY
(Mulder catches her eye, but she acts as
though he meant his visual pinch for a
woman at the next table, and she looks
to the menu)
Well, Lisa is an employee.  They pay her
to work.
(mutters under her breath)
As though she really has to. . .
(still perusing the menu)
This isn't a vacation for her.

    MULDER
(knowingly)
Oh, I'm sure she'll make some special
quality time for ol' Scarecrow, here,
Scully.  After all, he is her invited
guest, and I'm sure she wouldn't want
him to feel neglected.
(waggles his eyebrows unmercifully)

Dana's icy stare of censure rivals every
one she's ever given Mulder, to date.

    SCULLY
Shut-up, Mulder.

The men give each other nearly
imperceptible smiles.  Scully kicks
Mulder's leg none too lightly under
the table.

    LANGLY
Hey, whadda they got to eat here?

BACK TO THE PRESENT

CUT TO

    LANGLY
I might haveta hijack ya on the high
seas like Lucy did to Ricky in that
episode when they were traveling to
Europe for his gig.

He gets no response, and after he
jiggles Lislita a little, he realizes
she's fallen fast asleep in his arms
again.  Summoning up some bravery, he
brushes his lips against her tender,
glossy temple.

    LANGLY
(softly in soliloquy)
Man, you're so different from most
chicks.  I'm not some icky creep to
make fun of behind my back, or right
in front of me, to you.
(rattles in his throat)
I love ya, honey.

He hugs Lislita tighter. . .

   LANGLY
(speaks softly)
Wonder if Mulder spent the night alone,
or did he have Scully company?
(pauses, thinking the sleeper is talking
to him, shakes his head since she isn't)
Man, you're so beat, out like a light,
what a trooper.  Think I *will* kidnap
you for a couple of hours, and make ya
take a nap just so ya get a chance to
catch your breath.

Lislita shifts suddenly, as if trying
to shake herself awake.  Langly drops
his face nearer to hers for closer
inspection.  Unable to resist the
attraction of her lips, he kisses them,
as though they beckon.

    LISLITA
(eyes closed, still sleeping soundly)
. . .'Ay, si, mi vida, besame.  Besame
mucho, uno y otra vez, mi amor.  No te
paras las cosas que me estas haciendo.
Te ofrezco todo mi cuerpo y alma a ti.
Tu eres perfeccion.  Te amo muchisimo.
Si. . .'

SUBTITLE
Yes, kiss me.  Kiss me over and over
again, my love.  Don't stop what you're
doing to me.  I offer you my body and
soul.  You are perfection.  I love you
so much.  Yes. . .

    LISLITA
(swallows hard)
Again.  Again, and again.

    LANGLY
(staring, petrified, with nostrils
flared)
A-Again?  D-Do what again?  Ki-kiss ya?

She begins to pant, and the identical
malaise of seasickness washes over him.

    LISLITA
(grips the side of each of his hips)
KISS ME!

    LANGLY
(stutters)
I-di-didn't me-mean t-to take a-advan--

    LISLITA
--KISS ME

Unstintingly, he obeys

    LISLITA
(shakes herself awake to find him
peering down at her like a boy who's
been caught with his hand in the 'not
before dinner,' cookie jar)
What's wrong, 'mi vida?'

    LANGLY
I-I'm not a freak.

    LISLITA
Huh?

    LANGLY
(more insistently)
I'm not, swear.

    LISLITA
(sighs)
Okay, you're not, 'precioso.'  Now, what's
wrong?

    LANGLY
You told me to kiss you, so I did.  Just
following orders.  I wasn't stealing one.
Like I said, I'm *not* a freak.

    LISLITA
(contiues to stare at him for a time, then
sheepishly)
You caught me.

    LANGLY
*I* caught *you*?  At what?

    LISLITA
I have this habit of talking in my
sleep, ever since I was little.  I was
having this dream. . .

    LANGLY
(bides his time)
And you wanted me to kiss you?

    LISLITA
(tentatively, with hesitancy)
What else did I say?

She brings her eyes to his again,
leaving them in his care.

    LANGLY
Beats me.  Most of it was in Spanish.
We cool?  About the kiss?

    LISLITA
(nods)
I told you to kiss me.

He nods in kind.

    LANGLY
Yeah, so I did.

    LISLITA
Swift obedience in a man.  I like that.
(snickers, then probes)
And that's all you understood.

    LANGLY
Square biz.  If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.
'Mas huevos rancheros, por favor,' is
the only 'Espanol' I know.

She breathes an imperceptible sigh of
relief.

    LISLITA
Good.

    LANGLY
How come good?  What else did you say
that I got no clue about?

    LISLITA
(shyly)
I'm too embarrassed to tell you.

    LANGLY
Oh, now I gotta know.

    LISLITA
Well. . .

    LANGLY
Go on, promise I won't tease ya.
Promise.

    LISLITA
It was very vivid.

    LANGLY
How vivid?

With some give and take, she eases
herself out of his arms, but with some
gently applied persuasion, he eases her
back into them.

    LISLITA
'Muchisimo.'

SUBTITLE
A whole lot.

    LISLITA
'Hacemos el amor. . .'

SUBTITLE
We were making love.

    LANGLY
Okay, babe, the language lesson starts
now.  What's all that mean?

She looks out the immense observation
window and notices the waking sun better
than a quarter of the way up, peeking
over the wavy horizon.  Frowning, a faint
sigh escapes her.  She faces around to
him, and plunging ahead, gathers his
hands to her mouth to kiss each one of
his large knuckles, which are whiter
than usual because he's been wringing his
hands.

    LISLITA
(slowly withdraws her mouth away from his
hands)
Do you believe dreams have meaning?

    LANGLY
Depends.  What was yours about?

    LISLITA
When. . .when I dream about you, we make
love.  I have had such dreams ever since
we met.  I dream about us often.

Langly tries not to evidence any shaking,
but isn't totally successful.

    LANGLY
(high-pitched)
Yo-you d-do?

She trembles, and squeezes his hands,
and in response, he squeezes back.

    LISLITA
Yes.

    LANGLY
Ma-may. . .maybe your subconscious is
tryin' to tell ya something.
(bites his lower lip, looking like a
scared rabbit)

    LISLITA
(with an air of expectancy)
Oh?  And that is?

    LANGLY
(forces himself to speak levelly)
Li-like we're supposed t-to do it for
real.  You wa-wanna?  --Only if you
really wanna.  If.  If ya think we
should. . .

    LISLITA
(her face clouds)
I, I. . .want to. . .
(her eyes fall away from his face, and
sadly she hangs her head down)
But. . .

    LANGLY
(panicks)
I'm sorry--I shouldn't have said it like
that--I'm a jerk.

    LISLITA
(shakes her head, raising it in stages,
then whispers)
No you're not.  You're the sweetest,
sincerest guy I've ever met, which is why
I have wasted no time falling in love
with you.

Langly's snowy white complexion burns to
a bright crimson in no seconds flat.

    LANGLY
Wow.  You're, you're like so special,
Lis.  If you want us to do it, it'll be
for the right reasons.  
(he gags down the enormous lump that has
arisen in his throat)
I--I love you too.

The apprehensive look vanishes from
Lislita's face, and she courageously
looks him in his eyes.

    LISLITA
I've never slept with a man before.
I...  I'm a virgin.  I don't want to
disappoint you.

    LANGLY
(ingenuously)
--Hey, no chance.  Ever.

He stares at her unblinkingly for a good
long time.

    LISLITA
What?

    LANGLY
(sluggishly)
Wow.

    LISLITA
You looked shocked.  Not what you were
expecting, 'si?'

    LANGLY
No--I mean yeah--no, I mean. . .I'm, uh,
just, uh, surprised.

    LISLITA
(arches an eyebrow exactly like her
cousin)
Oh?  And why's that?

    LANGLY
(gushes)
'Cos you're so beautiful, and any guy
would kill for the chance just to walk
you to your door.  And takin' into
account the business you're in.  Hell,
I don't know, just am.

    LISLITA
I want my first time to be with someone
special.  Someone I really love.  I know
it sounds so old-fashioned, but I am
when it comes to romance.  I'm not
looking for just having a good time with
someone.
(regards him, looking candid)
I believe in honesty, and sharing more
than just my body with the first man I
make love with.

    LANGLY
(sounding starved for air)
I. . .I got a confession to make.
(beat)
I, I'm a virgin too.

    LISLITA
(nervous laugh)
No way.

    LANGLY
I kid you not.  What are the odds, huh?

    LISLITA
(her tone awash in respect)
Wow. . .  A man of the world, like you?

She crowds into his face and frees his
hair from its ponytail.

    LANGLY
(hems and haws abundantly)
Uh, uh, I'm not that big a man of the
world, as far as they go.  I kinda
overstated stuff in those e-mails.
Not, when, well. . .when it comes to,
you know.  What we're talkin' about.
But, like, I've read scads of
illustrated manuals and stuff, so it's
not like I'm totally ignorant.
(rolls his eyes)
Just, uh, inexperienced.  Savin' myself
for the right woman.

    LISLITA
(draws in a sharp breath)
This 'right woman,' how will you know
her?

    LANGLY
(before capturing her lips with his, he
verbally wobbles)
Here's a heavy clue.  I'm about to
plant a solid one on her lips. . .

    LISLITA
(murmurs after their lips part)
'Te amo. . .'

    LANGLY
No translation needed, babe.  Me too.

Lislita presses the palm of her right
hand into his lips, and he kisses it as
though he is scarfing M&M's from it.
He snags her wrist, and kisses it.

    LANGLY
I wanna kiss you all over, and over
again.  I wanna kiss you all over, till
the night rushes in, Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Her eyes bore holes into his soul, as
well as his eyes.

    LISLITA
(puzzled)
Fuzzy Wuzzy?

    LANGLY
(grins wide)
. . .Was a bear.  But in computerspeak
it's the lightheaded feeling you can get
if you stare at the screen way too long,
like me.  It's how I'm feelin' right
now, bein' here with you, like this.

They kiss again.

    LANGLY
Ho-man. . .

    LISLITA
You like it like that, hmmm?

    LANGLY
I'm lovin' it.  More, please.

    LISLITA
(resigned sigh)
More will have to wait until later.
It's getting late.  What time is it?

    LANGLY
Nearly six-thirty.

    LISLITA
If I don't hurry, I'll be late for work.
I have a step aerobics class to teach at
seven-thirty in the gym at the Nautica
Spa.

    LANGLY
(sneers)
Damn.  Can't ya call in sick?

    LISLITA
(mockingly, with a playful smile)
*Noooo* I can't.  Fitness-minded vaca-
tioners are depending on me.

    LANGLY
(keeps the whine to a minimum)
And what about *me*?  I'm depending on
you too.
(hugs her tight again)
To make my fantasy come true.

    LISLITA
Fitness classes first, fantasy-fulfilment
later.  All right?

    LANGLY
Classes?  Man, how many are you down for?

    LISLITA
Two step classes, three body conditioning
classes, a flat-abs session, and finally,
a wind-down stretch class.  I'm through
by noon.  'Esta bien?'

SUBTITLE
'Cool?'

    LANGLY
(shakes his head)
Phew.  No wonder you've got such a killer
bod.  Like the Energizer bunny, you just
keep goin', and goin' and goin'.  When do
you get some free time to unwind?

    LISLITA
(thoughtfully)
There's no rehearsal today, so after
twelve, you've got me all to yourself.

    LANGLY
Now you're talkin'.

    LISLITA
Can I interest you in taking one of my
classes?

    LANGLY
The stretch class sounds tame enough.
Wouldn't wanna tire myself out for our
main event.

    LISLITA
You'd better not. . .

    LANGLY
Stretching, huh?  It'll limber me up
for greater flexibility.  Or, maybe
I'll just lie on my back and watch you
imitate a pretzel.  You're already
in fantastic shape.  Me, the most
stretching I do is when I drag myself
up from the computer, pandiculate on
my way to the kitchen, and wrap my
fingers around a chilled 'Surge,' or a
'Dew.'

    LISLITA
(takes his chin between her fingers)
I teach easy stretching, not yoga.

    LANGLY
Okay, whatever.

He helps her to her feet, then fits
his arm around her curves.  She takes
another look at his watch.

    LISLITA
I'd better get a move on.

    LANGLY
Wait.  Lemme help.

With a war-ish whoop he hoists her up
into his arms swashbuckler style.

    LISLITA
'Chulo,' what do you think you're doing?

    LANGLY
The hardest workin' lady on the high
seas deserves all the help she can get.
Allow me. . .

    LISLITA
You're crazy.

    LANGLY
(grins)
Yeah, crazy in love.

    LISLITA
Careful, don't hurt yourself.

CUT TO-

INT.-PROMENADE DECK- ELEVATOR BANK- DAY

The six mirrored elevators are less than
thirty paces from the padded seating,
behind the largest of the three casinos
on the deck.

While waiting for an elevator to arrive,
Langly hefts her a few times until her
frothy giggling draws a smattering of
curious stares from fellow early risers.
When an elevator finally comes, the
paying guests allow them to load on all
by themselves for the ride down to her
stateroom.

CUT TO-

INT.-EMPRESS DECK, MID-SHIPS CORRIDOR,
STATEROOM 214- DAY

    LISLITA
(pretends to pat herself down)
I'm not wearing my key.

Langly sets her on her feet.

    LANGLY
Knock, 'cos maybe your cuz's in there.

    LISLITA
I hate to wake her.
(looks at him thoughtfully)
What do you mean, maybe she's in there?
Where else would she be at this hour?

    LANGLY
Maybe she spent the night with Mulder.

    LISLITA
(surprised)
Oh?  They're like that, 'verdad?'

SUBTITLE
Is that true?

    LISLITA
Dana says they have a pretty good
working relationship.  She didn't seem
to suggest they had anything more.

    LANGLY
Well, I for one, think they do, and
Fro' doesn't like admitting they do.
Byers is still undecided.  G'head
knock.

She hesitates a moment longer to bug
Langly.

    LANGLY
Okay, I will.

There isn't a sound on the other side
of the door until suddenly then they
hear what sounds like the hustling of
shuffling feet.

Lislita's about to say something, but
the -bam- of the cabin door bursting
open prevents her.  Mulder and Scully
spill out, suited up in T's, sweats
and running shoes.

    MULDER
(sounds out of breath)
There they are, Scully, and you were
worried.
(switches gears)
We're heading for the Sports Deck to
get in a few laps before breakfast.
The ship's got a great track.

Lislita nods agreeably, and wreathes
her arms around Langly's waist.

    MULDER
With all this rich food, we're taking
some preventative measures.  Eh,
Scully?

Clearly, his counterpart isn't
listening, with her 'F.B.I.' eyes
giving her cousin and Langly, him
especially, a good going over.

    SCULLY
(deceptively calm)
Where were you two all night, Langly?

    MULDER
(not as subtle)
Scully. . .

He ropes his friend's eye with a
knowing look of lasso.  Langly hurls
Scully's pervasive look right back
in her scowling face.

    LANGLY
Gettin' ta know each other better.

    LISLITA
(slips in after the beat)
We were on the Promenade Deck, Dana.
You won't believe this, but we spent
the night right on the deck, on the
cushioning, just talking until we.
(a little grin spurs her on)
Until we fell asleep.

She bites a tiny lower section of lip,
somewhat unnerved by her relative's
tenor.

    LANGLY
(picks up the slack)
Yeah, we crashed just like that,
together, out in the open on the deck's
runner.  We rapped-out, then fell out.
Unreal, huh?

    SCULLY
(cooly)
You two must have had lots to talk
about.

All too familiar with *that* tone,
Langly nods his 'happy-go-forget-you'
nod, and plasters a deathly bored
look on his face.

    LISLITA
Oh, we did, Dana.

Langly slips his arm around his girl's
waist.

    LANGLY
Bet your boots.

    LISLITA
Langly's fascinating, but of course,
you know that.

The current subject under discussion
winks at the out-of-sorts female
federal agent.

    SCULLY
(through slitted lips)
Langly's a lot of things.

    LANGLY
(snidely)
So, you two were having fun in there,
were ya?

    SCULLY
Mulder showed up two minutes before
you two did.

    LANGLY
Uh, huh.  So, uh. . .are you guys gonna
have any breakfast, or are ya gonna run
right through it?

    MULDER
Like I said, we'll get a few laps in
before we head for the buffet in the
Horizon Bar and Grill on the Lido Deck,
once we're through.  We're skipping the
formality of the dining room so we
won't have to change after our run.
Man, I could get so used to the casual
life.

    LANGLY
Yeah, right.  You'd commit like that,
Mr. GQ?

Mulder strikes a 'bring it on' pose.

    SCULLY
Sometime after breakfast, we're going
on the first mate's walking tour of
the ship.

Langly snorks through his nose, and she
glares at him, still upset about his
liberty with Lislita.

    SCULLY
What did *you* plan doing today, Langly?

Langly smiles wryly. . .

    LANGLY
Nothin' much.  Hangin' with Lisa.  When
she's done givin' her exercise classes,
we're gonna chill.

    SCULLY
Define *chill*.

    MULDER
Sculleee. . .

    LISLITA
(deferentially)
Excuse me, I must change, or I'm going
to be very late.
(directs to Langly)
'Chulo,' do you want something to eat
before I run off to work?  I usually
have just a glass of juice and some
cereal.

    LANGLY
I want more than just that.  I'm starved.

    MULDER
(with a chipper lilt)
We'll catch up with you guys later.

He and Scully begin walking off.
Lislita goes inside the stateroom,
and just before Langly does too, he
overhears Mulder say...

    MULDER
Scully, you can't be like that.

    SCULLY
(waspish)
Be like what?  Don't tell me what I
can't be, Mulder.

    MULDER
She's a big girl, y'know.  Funny thing
about your garden variety adult.  They
don't appreciate having their business
butted into, in the long run.  It's
pretty obvious your cousin's digging
the lone-hacker big-time.  Stop giving
Scarecrow such a hard time.  He's not
the big, bad wolf.  You don't know him
the the way I do.  He's a great guy,
greater friend, who's tryin' to connect
with someone really nice.  Why's it so
hard for you to let him have his chance?

    SCULLY
Shut-up, Mulder.  Where do you get off
telling me to mind my own business?
She's my cousin, and I love her.  I
don't want her getting hurt, making a
mistake in the form of. . .

She glances over her shoulder to see if
Langly has gone in.  When their eyes
lock, she starts a little, and he waves
at her, thinking he has seen repo men
with kinder eyes.

    SCULLY
(mutters ominously)
An overaged juvenile delinquent who knows
a golden opportunity when he sees it.

    MULDER
(sounding as though he's failed)
Scully, c'mon, cut him some slack.
You know he's not a user.  A stone
'Trekkie,' like me, sure--

    SCULLY
That's ample reason alone.

    MULDER
But *not* a golddigging opportunist,
the way you're making him out to be.
Doesn't he deserve the benefit of a
little romance in his life, Scully?

    SCULLY
Mulder. . .

She is giving him the 'must I tell
you again?' look.

    MULDER
Yeah, Scully, I know.  Shut-up.
(shrugs)
Race ya to the elevators.

    SCULLY
You're on, buster.

END I

FADE OUT

THEME

BREAK

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