*****************************************
Title:  The Gunmen Live
By: McJen
Feedback: skyfullofstars76@yahoo.com
Rated: PG

****************************************************
Memphis, Tennessee
Wolfchase Galleria
12:21 p.m.

It's lunchtime. The food court is busy. Every table
is occupied. People are eating, laughing, talking,
living their lives. In the middle of the crowd,
huddled around a tiny table sit Langly, Frohike, and
Byers. They are eating lunch. Each are dressed in
their usual Gunmen attire. The only unusual thing
about their appearance is the different name tags that
are pinned to their clothes. 

None of them look very happy as they pick at their
food.

Byers glances at his watch. 

FROHIKE
"You gotta quit doing that, it's no good." 

BYERS
"It's the third printing deadline we've missed."

LANGLY (throws his chicken nugget down onto the table.
It bounces off and rolls away)
"Man, this sucks. I can't take much more of this."

FROHIKE
"Come on guys. We knew this wouldn't be easy. We
gotta start back at the bottom again but we'll work
our way back up."

LANGLY
"I was never this low. If I have to hear another
teeny bopper going on about the damn Backstreet Sissys
I'm gonna kill."

They sit in silence and pick at their food barely
aware of the world going on around them. Frohike's
watch beeps. They all look at each other. 

BYERS
"We can make it guys. We have to."

The three of them get up and throw their trash away. 
They slowly walk through the mall. Along the way they
walk by happy shoppers, mothers dragging screaming
kids along behind them, rowdy teenagers hanging out,
old people with ice cream cones. 

One by one they go their separate ways. Frohike walks
into Radio Shack. Byers walks into a Cingular
Wireless kiosk in the middle of the mall. Langly
walks into a music store. 

It's blissfully silent, but it only lasts a moment
before an Nsync song blasts from the store speakers. 
Langly cringes as if physically in pain. From across
the small store another worker says,

WORKER
"Hey, can you get the check outs, I'm going to lunch."

LANGLY 
"Yeah, whatever."

Langly sighs and walks to the checkout desk. Without
looking up he takes the cd that has been placed on the
counter. It's Brittany Spears.

LANGLY
"You do realize that this music has been so digitally
altered that it barely resembles her actual voice at
all. She doesn't even write her own songs. Why
waste your time on this trash?" 

CUSTOMER (a young guy about 14)
"She's hot."

Langly shakes his head and puts the money into the
register. Before he can look up another cd is slapped
down onto the counter. He grabs it and scans it. 
Before putting it into a little plastic sack he
notices the cover. It's the Ramones. He looks up. 
Standing across from him on the other side of the
counter is Yves. Langly's mouth drops open. Yves
glances at Langly's "Joey Lives" tshirt and smirks.

YVES
"Seems like Joey isn't the only one who still lives."

****************************************************
LONE GUNMEN THEME
****************************************************
*************************************
3 Weeks Earlier

Offices of The Lone Gunmen
Tacoma Park, Maryland

Jimmy, Yves, and Kimmy sit at the couch. Tears are
running down Jimmy's face as he 
grips 3 folded American flags like his life depended
on it. Yves looks at Jimmy, a 
worried expression is on her face. Kimmy stares at the
floor, shuffling his feet. It's an 
uncomfortable silence.

KIMMY
"So, uh, what happens now?"

Yves and Jimmy don't immediately answer. Jimmy stares
at the flag in his arms. A long 
minute passes. Jimmy raises his head as if he's come
to a decision.

JIMMY
"Fight the good fight…..I'll write the paper."

Yves closes her eyes as if she were expecting him to
say that. 

KIMMY
"YOU!?!?"

YVES
"You haven't got any money remember."

KIMMY
"You definitely aren't the sugar daddy you once were."

JIMMY
"It doesn't matter. I'll sell my car. That should be
enough to publish one issue. And 
after that…I'll figure something out. I'll run off one
page fliers at Kinkos and pass them 
out for free. And when I run out of money for that
I'll hand write them. If I have to 
I'll….I'll stand on the street corners and tell people
the stories that need to be told. 
Whatever it takes. I promised……"

Jimmy breaks into tears again.

YVES
"No you won't."

JIMMY
"What?"

YVES
"I've got money. I'll pay for printing. It's the least
I can do. I owe them."

JIMMY
"You'd do that?"

Yves nods. A weak smile crosses Jimmy's lips. Kimmy
scowls at the both of them.

KIMMY
"I hate to break up this hallmark moment but ….are you
both nuts? Publish the paper 
with blood money? Don't get me wrong, the irony isn't
lost on me but somehow I don't 
think the guys would find it amusing."

YVES
"You fool. You honestly believe I'd lay a hand on any
money that my father has 
earmarked for murder?"

KIMMY
"Whoa, listen, Yves…Lois..whatever your name is. I'm
just saying that I don't know 
what to believe."

YVES
"Unbelievable."

Yves turns to Jimmy

YVES
"And you Jimmy, what do you believe?"

JIMMY
"The guys believed in you at the end. But I've
believed in you from the beginning."

Yves hangs her hand, ashamed at her outburst. They sit
in sad silence. Yves finally 
speaks.

YVES
"I have money. Not blood money. My money. Enough to
publish this paper for several 
centuries I expect."

Kimmy's mouth drops open.

KIMMY
"How the hell did you get your hands on that kinda
moulah?"

YVES
"What do you think I've been doing all this time?
Baby-sitting?"

Kimmy glances around the room. Rows and rows of empty
bare shelves fill the 
warehouse.

KIMMY
"Ok, so, you've got the cash. But what about
equipment. This place hasn't been this 
empty since Frohike loaned me his porno collection."

***************************************************


Lone Gunmen Offices


Time has passed. The once bare shelves have a few
items on them. On the top shelf is a 
make-shift memorial to the guys. The 3 American flags
sit in display cases with a framed 
photo of the guys beside it. Across the room, 3 new
computers sit on the desks. Two are 
laptops and one is an obnoxious green imac. Scanners,
printers, and other computer 
paraphanalia fill up the rest of the desk space. Yves,
Jimmy, and Kimmy are sitting at 
the computers. 

A stack of the newest issue of The Lone Gunmen is on
the table. The headline reads: 
"Reporters Sacrifice Lives for Others" Beneath the
headline is a photo of Langly, 
Frohike, and Byers. Along the sidebar is another news
column. There is a small 
thumbnail sized photo of Kimmy and the headline reads,
"How to keep government 
patsys out of your computer." 

Yves picks up a copy of the paper.

YVES
"They would be proud of you Jimmy. You did a good
job."

Jimmy smiles. 

KIMMY
"Though Langly would be rolling over in his grave if
he saw your kiddie green computer 
over there."

Jimmy pats the green imac affectionately.

JIMMY
"But I love it. It's the first computer I ever had."

Before Kimmy can make a sarcastic retort, there is a
knock at the door. Jimmy walks 
over and glances at the video screen.

JIMMY (growls)
"It's Morris Fletcher."

YVES
"Let him in Jimmy."

Reluctantly, Jimmy opens the door. He glares at
Morris.

MF
"Hey big guy, gonna invite me in?"

JIMMY
"Do I have to?"

YVES
"Let him in."

Morris walks past Jimmy into the room. He looks around
the place. Glances at Yves, 
Jimmy, and Kimmy and point to the stack of newspapers.

MF
"What's this? 3 Stooges: The Sequel?"

They say nothing.

MF
"I mean, it's great. There I was stuck in the world's
most boring meeting when the mail 
arrives and what should appear in my hands but The
Lone Gunmen Returns!! I just have 
to come over and see it with my own eyes."

JIMMY
"So you've seen it, now get out."

MF
"Oh, come on now. You aren't getting rid of me so
easily. I have to know…how'd they 
pull it off? Are they ghostwriting your articles from
some beach on the Bahamas? Or are 
they stashed away in some secret passageway?"

JIMMY
"I don't believe in ghosts. But you're gonna be one if
you don't shut up."

Jimmy grabs Fletcher by the collar and pushes him
against the wall. Fletcher glances at 
Yves.

MF
"Will you please tell The Rock here, that ghostwriting
doesn't involve the supernatural."

YVES
"Put him down Jimmy."

KIMMY
"Ghostwriting is when one person write the article and
another takes all the credit."

YVES
"Why would you think they were ghostwriting the
paper?"

KIMMY
"Yeah, HELLO, they're dead. You were at the funeral." 

Morris Fletcher looks at them as if he can't believe
his ears.

MF
"You are kidding me right? Come on!!!"

They say nothing. Morris Fletcher bursts into
laughter.

MF
"Your stooges aren't dead."

JIMMY
"What are you talking about."

MF
"Did you ever see a body? A viewing at the funeral
home? An open casket? These were 
biological hazards, they would never have been
buried."

JIMMY
"Why?"

YVES
"Biological hazards are always cremated."

MF
"And how did they get buried at Arlington?"

JIMMY
"Skinner pulled some strings."

MF
"The only thing he's pulling is your leg. Arlington is
the most well guarded cemetery in 
the US. There's no way anyone could poke around to
find out what's really in those 
coffins."

Morris Fletcher laughs harder.

MF
"They probably have the whole place wired with sound
and video and are laughing their 
asses off at you as we speak."

He walks to the door and leaves.

Yves, Jimmy, and Kimmy look at each other. Jimmy
glances around the room, stares at 
the ceiling.

JIMMY
"Guys?"
********************************

**********************************
Arlington National Cemetery
Washington D.C.

Yves and Jimmy are walking among the seemingly endless
rows of crosses. They are 
both dressed for a funeral, all in black. Jimmy is
wearing a black coat and tie. Yves is 
holding flowers with one hand and in the other is
holding a Kleenex to her face as if she 
is crying. There is a small headset in her ear.

YVES (through headset)
"Kimmy, do you read me?"
************************************
Cut to: 
Interior VW Van

KIMMY
"Loud and clear. I've got the system online. You just
get the sensor in place and it'll be 
like Superman's Xray vision back here."
************************************
Cut to: 
Cemetery

Yves lowers the Kleenex and takes Jimmy arm.

YVES
"Kimmy's got everything ready. You know what you have
to do?"

JIMMY
"I'm ready."

They walk slowly through the rows of crosses until
they find the 3 they were looking for. 
They stop. Yves, bends down and sets flowers on the
middle grave. She bursts into a fit 
of meladramatic tears. 

YVES
"I can't believe he's gone."

She throws herself onto the burial sight and clutches
at the ground. Jimmy bends down 
to comfort her and she hangs onto his chest. One of
her hands reaches into his coat 
pocket and pulls out the sensor. She pushes it into
the ground. As two guards approach, 
Jimmy gets Yves to her feet and leads her away.

GUARD
"Can we be of any assistance?"

JIMMY
"No thank you sir, I'll just take her home."

The guard nods solemly.

GUARD
"I'm sorry for you loss."

They walk back up the path and back to the van. Kimmy
is staring at the computer 
screen, saying nothing. On it is the faint outlines of
what's beneath the gravesite. The 
outline of the coffins can be seen, and inside…three
skeletons.

KIMMY
"Sorry guys."

Jimmy slumps down onto the floor. Yves hands him her
Kleenex and he dabs his eyes. 
Yves sits down beside Kimmy and takes a closer look at
the screen. 

KIMMY
"We never should have listened to Fletcher…this was a
waste of time."

YVES
"Maybe not."

Jimmy quits crying and peaks over their shoulders. 

YVES (points to a skeleton on the screen)
"This is Langly's coffin, correct?"

Kimmy nods. Yves enlarges it and looks at it on the
screen.

YVES
"Unless there's something that Langly forgot to tell
us, this isn't his skeleton."

KIMMY
"Huh?"

YVES
"This is the skeleton of a woman. You can tell by the
wider ratio of hipbones." 

Yves points out the differences on the screen.

Kimmy laughs out loud.

KIMMY
"He may have had long blonde hair but he was all man."

Jimmy smiles and grabs the both of them in a huge bear
hug. 
*************************************