TITLE: A Is For What?!
AUTHOR: Jackie
RATING: G
SPOILERS: None
GENRE: Humor
Summary: Langly's middle name has been kept secret for a very good 
reason . . . 

"What do you mean I gotta fill the freakin' form out again?" Richard 
"Ringo" Langly all but shouted to the Blockbuster cashier - a pimply 
teenager with spiky brown hair.

"You're card isn't registering," the cashier replied, glaring at the 
older blond man.  He glanced at the four tape boxes near Langly's 
hands: "War and Peace", "War Games", "Old Yeller", and "Arma-Get It 
On."  Man, why do I always get the weird ones, he asked himself.

"That sucks," Langly said.  "Every time I come in here, it's always 
something!  Why should I be screwed over because your database system 
sucks?  You ever heard of an upgrade, kid?"

"Just fill out the freakin' form!" a guy behind him yelled.  The other 
customers started shouting in agreement.

"Bite me," Langly said without turning around.  He glared at the 
teenager.

The teenager had enough and grabbed Langly's video boxes.  "Sir, 
either fill out the form or LEAVE," the cashier replied loudly.

Langly opened his mouth like he was going to start spewing obscenities 
left and right, but then he realized he'd have a hell of a time 
explaining to Byers, Frohike, and Jimmy why he didn't come home with 
the tapes.  He was already going to have to explain to Frohike that 
his other choices were out of stock, so he knew the eldest Gunmen 
wasn't going to be please already.

"Fine," Langly said curtly.  "I'll fill out the freakin' form."  The 
cashier smiled, gloating silently as he handed the form and pen to 
Langly.  The blond man scribbled the necessary information onto the 
paper then shoved it back to the cashier.  "Here."  He crossed his 
arms and sighed loudly, waiting for the cashier to process the 
paperwork.

"You didn't put your middle name," the cashier said, glancing at the 
form.

"I don't have one," Langly sneered.

"I can look it up and waste everyone's time," the cashier replied.

"You wouldn't," Langly frowned.

"Try me," the cashier folded his arms and returned the glare.  

Langly sighed explosively.  He mumbled something unintelligible.

"I couldn't hear that," the cashier said in a mocking tone.

"Archibald," Langly hissed loudly.

The cashier looked at him and grinned as he wrote the information and 
processed the paperwork.  Finally, the cashier produced a card and 
checked Langly's tapes out.

"They're due back in five days," the cashier said, moving the tapes to 
the other side of the security detector and putting them in a bag.  He 
put the card on top of the bag as Langly walked through.  "Have a nice 
day," he said as Langly passed him.  "Archibald."

"Okay, that's it!" Langly replied as he turned around and dove at the 
cashier.

----

Langly walked in the warehouse with a black eye and carrying his 
Blockbuster bag.  The three Gunmen looked up from their work on the 
paper.

"Hey Punk-Ass, what happened to you? Didn't they have "'Buffy the 
Vampire Layer' or 'Laying Ryan's Privates?'" sneered Frohike.

"No!!" growled Langly.

"Then what the hell happened?"

Langly grabbed Frohike by his leather vest. "A word of warning...don't 
EVER make fun of my middle name! GOT IT?" Langly took the bag and 
walked away.  "Oh, and the police said I'm not allowed to go into the 
store for a few weeks, so next time we get movies, YOU'RE going to get 
them!"

Frohike looked at Byers surprised. "Yeesh! All that from a trip to the 
video store?"

Byers tilted his head and looked back at Langly. "Yeah, I guess he had 
to fill out the application."

Jimmy raised his hand.  "What does that have to do with Langly's black 
eye?" he asked.  Byers and Frohike looked at each other.

"It's better you don't ask," Frohike replied.  Jimmy looked confused 
but he and the others resumed their work on the paper.

THE END

(comments welcomed)